spirital musings, mundane rantings and far more baloney
Saturday, September 30, 2006
I took a listen to some of my older recordings and realised that many of the songs that I wrote during the past couple of months were very much influenced ('inspired' wouldnt sound too appropriate though) by this person. Not saying who either. You can make your wild guesses and no one will stop you. Many of which are melancholic breakup songs. And I can't quite recall what I was thinking then. Oh well.
Service today was unusal. No offence to the many fervent zealots out there who are about to bitch about my caustic comments and interpret it as an extensive shitload of blasphemy. Lee was right. Why care about what people think? Why bother putting on facades? Anyway, I thought the sermon seemed like an impromptu speech. And I was literally fighting the sleeping demon half the time. Amos's testimony however had touched me. My heart wept when we sang Jesus come fill your lambs. Yet strangly, fill your lambs with what? Food? Love? Clothing? Just then, a random thought crept into my head. I asked myself, when will the day come when I can share a testimony to a congregation with utmost conviction?
I've decided. I'm gonna start afresh. In another premise. It's too stifling here. And I'm listening to an emoish song titled Run by Snow Patrol. Go check it out.
This may sound a little out of time but I'm glued to Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol! This track was like totally on repeat mode today. Hah. And I figured how to play it on my guitar after referencing several online tabulatures and experiment using an alternate tuning. Sweet!
Some 6 reason why you should also love Chasing Cars, though the title sounds pretty dumb, but who cares! Hah.
1) Gentle on the ears 2) Catchy tune 3) Good lyric (Minimal rhyme on last syllabus) 4) Uses an acoustic guitar (important!) 5) Radio-friendly 6) Emoish (most important!)
Okay, I'm blabbering AGAIN! Anyway, here're a couple of shoutouts!
To the immensely pretty (ahem!!), teeth flaunting, perpetually smiling, immensely cutesy pie. Hah. Thanks for being so kind. And what is emo kevino? Sounds like casino! Haha!
To the one with the cute round face, I really enjoy talking to you. Hope it's not making you feel too uncomfortable. Let's do coffee someday soon. After your exams or sth (:
To the darth vader fan who owns goodness-knows-how-many light sabres, we need to chill man!! And you owe us dinner! Muhahaha!
To the best mate who recently extracted 5 teeth, we all miss you man! Nice Chao Keng-ing at home huh? RAR!
And to Jenno, Winchong & Clara, your messages have been a great encouragement to me. Thanks a million!
The Singapore Idol Finals was A TOTAL PIECE OF CRAP!
And I'm not saying this just because I'm feeling jealous, green-eyed, envious or kuku-fied (as introduced by Brother David) .
In my opinion, the second season of Singapore Idol reflects poorly on our minute but significant pool of local music talents. To start off based on tonight's performance, Jonathan Leong can't really sing and Hady doesn't behave like an idol! The former's applauded true-to-yourself personality and support for local music (what lackluster for the grand finals really!) will not earn him the title. Jonathan lacks strong vocals and flexibility. And to think the judges all gave positive comments after he sang his second song (which was the worse of all three really)! If you did observe, Ken was actually pretty reluctant to commend. And heck, this is the finals and the producers probably reminded the panel that all is to give only positive feedbacks! Oh what the hell! His competitor Hady, on the other hand has outshone him both vocally and in terms of stage presence. Hady can definitely sing but sad to say, his demeanor portrays himself no more than a sheer singing pretty face. Hady lacks character depth and should learn to smile like a doll when NECESSARY only. He seriously beams too much for his own good and that gives away the impression that he's pretending to be someone else. Like a perpetually smiley mask, facade, front. You know how these TV producers would tell their artistes to pretend to be someone else and show their teeth all the time on camera! Okay, at least Jonathan deserves some plus points for this area. He usually says the right thing on screen (forgiving but cliche) and he acts like himself and that makes him cool.
To be frank if you ask me, I won't want any of these two to win! Okay, maybe Jon. But I would rather Nurul or Paul or someone else. And I'm not saying this because I've worked with Nurl and sang with Paul. Okay, so much for my 5 cents worth.
Updates. Another emoish entry. I'm experiencing a spate of PMS recently. Okay wait, boys don't have PMS, do they? My biology textbook talks nothing about that! The PMS justification (for boys) is just too cheap an excuse. Oh pardon me, but mines Personal Mental Stress! It's different as you can read! My mind is perpetually churning like an ice blender meshing gallons of ice-powder mixture and turning it into a ton of Caramel Frappuccino. Oh my absolute favourite!
As a matter of fact, my life is recently ubberly boring (due to PMS which has impaired my mind in every area) and so is my blog which you're reading right now. So why bother coming back to read especially when it neither edifies you (since you have so much to talk about behind my back) nor bonds both you and myself closer in any sense? This is wholesomely directed to a special group of people. Oh and I hope no one sense the bitter-sweet caustic elements in my beautifully crafted sentences.
Only you have the answer. I have no clue.
Saturday will pass like a snap. Service. Oh you mean the sermon accompanied with truck loads of digressing stories that bring us all the way to Rome and then back to Chinatown? Pardon me but I might be giving this forth coming one a miss. I terribly need a breather. Oh watch how I breathe the fresher air outside!
Kelly was HOT today, as she had claimed. Did she? I can't remember. Haha. She accompanied me around J8 with her really sleazy top, watched me ate Filet O Fish at Macs, stole took two strand of my fries (to ease her boredom; how interesting), swinged herself on the creaking see-saw while I stood and watched and we finally sat on some suspended block and chatting under the romantic moonlight. Oh, I'm so dreaming. Hahah.
Listening to Closer To Your Heart Written & Arranged by Frederick Lin
So he called me whilst I was almost hitting my 2KM mark on the treadmill and told me about you. About how much you've changed and truly became someone else. Maybe it's just the phases in life. Maybe it's just me. Whatever it is, I've chosen to remain ignorant. It may be better this way. I guess I've chosen to bleed too much for my own good for the past months. And I'm finally dried. Exhausted of feeling remourseful for something I cannot undo. Nobody understands but that's okay really. Let something become nothingness from now onwards. Period.
I guess I'm too apathetic to bring myself any closer to you people. Continue treating me like a passing face. A dispensable facade that edges past the corner of your eye. I'm at peace really, though not necessarily comfortable. My line has been broken. Evident to the eyes of those who bother to notice. But fret not, you can stay where you are and do the things that you do. I'm glad I'm finally strong enough to stand on both my feets and imminently take my leave someday without feeling the sense of hopelessness and dependency. All that moulding however, has not gone to waste. The very thing that does not kill you only makes you stronger, doesn't it? The changes and revamps are only but surficial.
May you continue to prosper and tell new people stories of the past.
I've read the signs and somewhat knew what you mean. At least I have the basic common sense to deduce. Pardon me for being the demanding one. I'm like that most of the time. All the best for your prelims and let Brainy Bean keep you company always.
I haven't been updating for a while cus too many things have been happening too simultaneously. Oh how time itself can inflict that dishevelment in my head. In fact, time has passed really quickly this year. And I can't believe that it's already September! You know what? January feels like yesterday, and it's queerly so fresh and vivid in my head like drops of morning dew on a petal. I can still remember that day I was so bloody stucked in traffic after midnight because the entire Singapore was congregating at Esplanade dying to catch the fireworks like for the first time in their lives. Oh well. Some things are hard to believe. Other things are harder to accept.
Anyway, yesterday was retardation night @ Ben's! Oops Thursday!
I don't understand why I'm stuttering so much when I'm speaking to her over the phone. Feels like I'm constantly chocked on my words with an invisible piece of steel hampering my jaw from moving freely. Ha. To be exact, there's this weird energy that is perpetually forcing me to cracking a smile for no particular reason. And this obviously does not make any sense at all! Or does it? Heh.
I'm usually pretty eloquent and articulated. Everyone knows it! But what the .. oh well .. whatever. Hahah.
Ah Bin asked me if I was a photowhore last friday. Photowhore? I've heard this somewhere but I've no clue to what that means exactly. Could someone please enlighten me? The 'whore' part baffles me especially.
Anyway, here's a retarded photos of Jon and myself.
5 more days and the lot of us will be posted out of OETI for a futher 2 month sub-holiday OJE before the real thing sets in - UNIT! Arghhh... I will certainly miss the times spent in OETI with all its wonderful tea-breaks and not forgetting the ping-pong and the marvel vs capcom games in the trainee lounge. Oh sheeesh.. For those who have no clue to what I'm saying, it's alright. It's army stuff. And only the grown ups will understand. Heh.
And to the girl with the round cute face, mug hard. And you still owe me a meal. Bites (:
Met up with Kelly this afternoon to watch her mug over coffee at PS! Haha. How convenient - not! And she almost got lost. What the .. bleh (:
You know how times have changed over the many generations. Some million years ago during your great-great-grandmother's time, when a lad is interested in a lady, he would leap over (with his bell-bottom jeans and fancy permed hair), introduces himself (possibly including a cliche handshake) and ask her for a date.
Today, all we do (or perhaps it's just me) is smile and say, "let's do coffee tomorrow at 8!" Tada! And a date is just fixed instantly. Haha. Okay, I'm just talking crap.
I was clearing my immensely messy desk when I came across some photographs on the racks. And I thought to myself, "Why not pin them up on my board?" After doing so, I found myself gazing at them and pondering over the same questions over and over again, where has she gone to?
I guess it's sad that I do not have the answer to my question. Well, perhaps as much as I would want to know, I reckoned it's better for me to edge in ignorance. A while later, I took down the photos and kept them in a file. Maybe it's best they remain where they are right now.
Would you trap me in my own blissful oblivion, someone?
Oh let me rant. I'm feeling a little emo-ish today. And this might get really cryptic.
I guess that sometimes it's best to remain ignorant or oblivious or whatever. Maybe my afternoon would have been better if I had suppressed my curiosity and refrained from a peep into her life and afterwhich, feel absolutely spastic, guilty and remourseful over a silly mistake. Well, thanks for Ngu - my sorta geeky advisor and confider. He said that no doubt our present and future are somewhat a result of the past, we are still responsible for what we do in our life and that we are given the choice whether to do the right thing or simply snap and throw the triumph card.
You know, it'll only be awesome if God is someone you can send a text message to over breakfast and then receive a reply like a minute later.
Anyway, WESTLIFE is coming to Singapore! And being a listener of their music (which does not typecast me as gay in any sense), I'm going to catch them in concert this Friday! So who wants to join me? I know this sounds really gay. But yeah, let me know if you're interested. Or perhaps Kelly could come? Oh well.. Hah. We'll have to see.
Okay, my title says it all. I'm getting a little frenzy right now. But it's all good. Hah. Alright before I start blabbering (like I always do), allow me to entertain you with some of the spastic shots I've taken today whilst meddling with Photo Booth. Hah. Exclusive pictures eh!
the normal shot
after a trip from mars
after a shriek-inspired face transplant
after a vicious punch in the eye
aesthetic eh? hah
Alright, some of the stuff that awaits me. Or rather stuff I REALLY need to get and do soon.
1) Mac Office - also known as Microsoft Office for Mac 2) Photoshop Mac - this is a die die must get! 3) Final Cut Express - I'm gonna buy this from some pirated store 4) USB Sound Adapter - My mic requires this to operate. Sucks man 5) Read up on Garage Band
6) Install Windows XP to duo boot 7) Install Parallel to access Parallel OS
Or perhaps, I should just make my Mac a dedicated Mac machine and do away with XP. And like what Mac-fanatic Claudia said, the Mac must not be defiled, profaned and desecrated. Hah. Oh comon, it's just a machine - something created by the hands of mere intelligent and ermm... artsy people? Okay, I think I'll go head a cult of Mac-ist tomorrow. Pure ramblings man. What have the white machine done to my head?!
We all live to agree to disagree. Read it again, it's not a grammatical error. Ha. Saturday @ 7 was good though I felt largely uneasy amidst the entire session due to the sudden change. It is clear to me that we're REALLY adopting some mega-church models. Here are some examples.
1) The commencing of Offerings/Tithes collection at the start of the service 2) Singing of more 'commercial-regarded' praise and worship songs 3) The giving of testimonies 4) The 'Raising Up Hands' method to ask for congregational response (though I thought that it would be more effective if the congregation would close their eyes for a second while this happens)
Whatever it is, it's all good. Hah. And Boon Hoi's testimony really encouraged me alot. It's miraculous isn't it? But one thing that irks me is the stone-ness of the congregation. And this can be improved surely. Get some life people!
Pastor X: " Today a brother is saved ! : Congregation : *Stones in mid-air & stillness fills the sanctuary"
Pastor Y: " Come let's give an AMEN! " Congregation: *softly* amen .. Pastor Y: " You can do better, let's shout a louder AMEN! " Congregation: *same volume + 0.5 decibel* amen
Hah. I also applaud the Worship team for making the switch! And here's one suggestion or proposal or whatever you call it for that matter. We should form a Praise & Worship choir (hopefully Youths) to support the Praise & Worship leader! Then Pastor Chee Kin can take a breather man!
But then again, no one listens to Kevin really. Hah. And so much for my 5 cents worthed. Some say 20 cents.
Okay, I'm using a Mac to blog now and trust me, I'm having quite a hard time navigating and getting things done. I wanted to post the photos taken last night and then I realised I do not have photoshop and hence unable to resize my photos. Hah. I'm not going to upload the full resolution ones and then chock the bandwidth later. Oh holy crap.
Definitely, the MacBook looks aesthetic, and it definitely has an edge over those of Windows. Hah. But Windows is coming up with its Vista, so we shall see when this new OS is released. Hah.
Thanks lot to those who have left the flattering comments on the tagboard. It has been really encouraging and now with GarageBand, things are surely gonna get better yea! Hah! But seriously, I need to read up on some Garage Band for Dummies or something. As I've said earlier, OSX is sweet to the eye but not so easy to use. Okay, maybe I'm just too accustomed to Windows. Hah. Oh crap.
0730 - Woke up 0800 - Took cough mixture 0802 - Took flu tablet 0920 - Reached MDC 1000 - Auditioned for Vocals 1120 - Met Mum 1130 - Bought M-Audio ES61 Keys 1205 - Sleeping 1310 - Messaged Kelly 1315 - Messaged Kelly again 1330 - Messaged Kelly again again 1415 - Lunch 1530 - Met Richard & Slyvy 1600 - Enquired about MacBook 1630 - Bargaining 1750 - Bargaining still 1815 - Bargaining still still 1825 - Ric, Slyvy & Myself bough MacBook each 1915 - Reached Church 1950 - Dozed off for 5 seconds 1955 - Dozed off again 2020 - Said hi to everyone 2100 - Dinner
twenty-something. a child of God. aspiring singer songwriter. singaporean. extrovert. black eyes. daydreamer. right handed. guitarist. loves writing.
perpetually retarded. love comedies and ogling at pretty girls. perfectly heterosexual.
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