Tuesday, March 18, 2008

BAD ENGLISH

My English is bad. Not horrific I hope. At least that's what my Mum thinks.

You sure you can cope in mass comm? Those students their english very good one leh. You so fickle huh?!

No my Mum didn't actually say that. She has a respectable degree of poise. And of course you could find a fair share in my demeanor. Heh. But she probably meant along those lines.

And I was a little dampened and apprehensive at first. Actually I still feel like shit now.

I believe I can write decently. Let me illustrate to you what I've acquired all my years as a student.

Understand, understood and understooded at its superlative.

No! "understooded" doesn't exist if you didn't realise. It's singlish. More than that, it's just bad English. Yes, like mine.

Consider the following ..

Auntie speaks: I just understooded why my hubby don't wanna make me sweet sweet lovee to me night after night.

So gradually, as "understooded" propagates among ugly housewives' conversations, it gradually becomes verbally acceptable. And then as more kids start learning from their mothers and begin putting "understooded" in their essays, the teachers get fooled and the whole system screws up.

So now, has anyone understooded me?

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