SO FARAWAY
I just bought two pairs of Levis jeans to cheer myself up.I wish I knew how to smile. (: Oh well. It's frustrating how my heart would love to contradict my head. Like how much I would relent each time I think of you, despite knowing the right thing to do. Bee calls me one with the wider spectrum of emotions.
Now, there's no one to complain about my smelly bag that I carry everyday. No one to tease me about my retarded hairdo. And my soiled jeans. Oh bittersweet memories.
I'm sorry. I have to remove everything that would bring me the slightest thought of you. Many are the thoughts of you. So I took the card you gave with the really sweet photo collage and put it aside, like I always do when the pain comes crashing down.
I wish I have the right words to say to you sometimes.
I was on the brink of tears this morning. Alright, I'll confessed. I cried during service when God gently mended the wounds. You know they say that people cry when their minds and bodies are unable to contain a certain rushing emotion. Like a broken dam, a broken vessel, a broken vase that fall to the ground.
Tomorrow will be a better day. Tomorrow, I'll smile again.
It feels funny when I think about it. If it was all part of His master plan, perhaps I was brought into your life to exposed his lies and thereafter, take my leave. This is too simplistic to conceive. Have we messed it all up? Guess we're never meant to be.
Pardon my emotional post. Literature. Cryptic writings. Words and phrases that subtly suggest and soon after, leaving you in your thoughtless world of doubt, imagination and disbelief.
Let's all just wait on tomorrow. Good night.
I still love you. And God loves you too.
posted by kevin @ 12:10 AM
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